Bar the doors and windows - it's a first-time mom!!

That's got to be the reaction each time a pediatrician's office gets that dreaded call to set up a first appointment. I imagine an unsuspecting receptionist, chatting with nurses and sipping on a bottle of water when the phone rings. They pick it up, only to find out minutes into the conversation the frenzied voice on the other end is a FTM.

They drop the phone and slam their hand onto a red alarm button on the desk. Lights begin flashing and bars drop down over the doors and windows, protecting those inside from dreaded FTM.

For those of you who are more laid back than I, what I will describe has another name in a romantic relationship - stalking. You know what I mean - calling late at night, desperate for reassurance. Calling 4 out of 5 week days (yes, I did that, but in my defense, my daughter was constipated. You would have their office on speed dial if it meant getting THAT situation cleared up). Showing up at the doctor's office unannounced to sneak your daughter onto the scale to see if she gained weight since the last time.

Yes, it's officially stalking, but since it's my daughter's doctor, it's OK. Thank goodness. I feel a little silly calling so much, but - as I'm sure I'll point out in more posts - there is no solace in baby books. Look up a stuffy nose as a symptom, and all of the sudden your child has the ebola virus.

And God forbid baby books should agree with each other. I've never been a proponent of burning books, but one more contradiction among the four I own and I may be having a bonfire. I guess I'll have to put that pediatrician on speed dial after all.